Dear Daughter…

You do not have anything new to offer anymore. Listen to me you have worn off. You are spent. You are like dead leaves, shed off at autumn. You have seen better times; there is nothing spectacular about your being anymore. Your smile no longer work its magic, the twinkle in your eyes no longer holds spellbound, your jokes are no longer hilarious, there is one better than you in all. All. You thought you were indispensable, your brown skin too shiny, your teeth too nicely set, your hips too wide, you thought you were too awesome, you were doing them a favor but look, your magic wore off, badly too.

You lost your allure, your imperfections scream out like demons across the four corners of your room, the fire has been doused, that once bustling inferno, it no longer burns, in its place, flames that you try in vain to spark once again. Look someone else reigns supreme, you are like a queen, dethroned, sent into exile, you fight, cajole, make scenes, everything to tell your tales of woes. How could you have lost your relevance so cheaply? You mean after you swallowed your pride and tinted your ego? You mean after all the sacrifices you made and time you wasted? You mean after you inconvenienced yourself and lowered your standard? How have your jokes gone stale? After you left your happiness to chase someone else’s? How you surged on when your best bet was to have given up? You know your problem? You did not want to waste time you wasted more time. You put in so much when you got lesser in return you went mad. Then you start barking and fell even lower than you had already. A whole you, you fell from your throne of glamour.

Your heart is heavy with regrets, that is what you get for flogging dead horses, that is what you get for not setting your priorities straight. You had your own goals, your own standards then you ran right off to chase someone else’s, then you cry foul. Listen to me however, that is humans for you, they always have something to complain about, no matter how hard you try if they have no use for you anymore you cannot impress them. You will only continue to chase the wind. Months and months of keeping quiet, being trodden upon, accepting all the blames, trying to put the right right, your efforts, none is remembered, you are the bad horse, you were never right. You smile too widely these days, your hips is too wide, your skin is too brown, your teeth is too nicely set, you see the bad ones happy but for you who have chosen to walk the straight line, happiness is but an illusion. You smile so wide to push the tears back, you have won; now the game is against you. Time is far too spent, you were pushed forward your own evil days, based your happiness on a fellow human, now you hurt. You let words faze you out, cheap words from fast tongues. Did I not teach you to live alone, self-dependent? You had to be reminded to respect yourself, after I raised you to be a respectable young lady. You shame me but you are just a mere reflection of me so all I can do is pull you close and hold you tight. You are not exactly what they say you are, you know how much you have sacrificed, you alone when I was absent, you grew into the strong woman I am proud of, that feeling of self-dependence you guard so jealously they mistake it for pride. You are different; do not try to blend in. Stand out, they knew your flaws, you warned them you were you, they enjoyed you at your best but they flee when you show your worst but again they are only human. Aren’t promises meant to be broken?

You will pick up yourself, brush away the dirt, and hide your hurt and surge forward. Remember in this journey of yours, it will be bumpy, you will be beaten by the rain and the sun, you will be betrayed, people will promise you and fail but you must come out strong and be successful, not for yourself but for your daughter like I was for you. Learn from your mistake but never regret them, celebrate your achievement but never relent effort. You are a strong woman and I am lucky to have birthed you. I love you forever and a day more.
Warm Regards,
Mom.

On Fellowship Buses…

The University of Ibadan is perhaps one of the most socially backward tertiary institutions in Nigeria, the uplift of the ban on student union activities did little or nothing to help matters,our focus is mostly on academics and how to make “seven points”. We are socially behind the likes of OAU,UNIBEN and the fun city of UNILAG although we would rather die than admit it. However,what we lack in social activities we make up for in academics as I earlier mentioned and of course religion. There are currently over thirty fellowships in the university with students at the helms of affairs and the executives of such fellowships taking such titles a “momsy”,”popsy” etc. Most of these fellowship are subsidiaries of bigger churches in the society, Redeemed Christian Fellowship(RCF),Winners Campus Fellowship(WCF),CACSA to mention a few, taking after the steps of the bigger churches,the structure of these fellowships is a hierarchy of some sort as there are fellowship presidents,hall pastors,block representatives etc. Meetings are held every other day of the week,from morning devotions to hall meetings and retreats, it is not uncommon to hear brethrens “casting and binding” in one room or the other. Posters announcing different religious programmes grace strategic places in the institution leaving one to wonder how many of these gatherings to attend. One of the hilarious issue about the whole show is the early morning announcements in halls of residence by member of fellowships seeking to publicise one religious programme or the other,the announcement is often form in of a call and response,below is a typical example;
Call: Good morning Awoites…
Response: Good morning…
Call: This is the voice of…
Response: Assembly of the faith children.
Call: We are here to remind you of…
Response: Watercircle 2013… etc till they communicate the venue,date and other necessary information about the programme. This they do as early as 5 in the morning and on top of their voices too,needless to say most students’ sleep are disturbed.
Student sow seeds of faith and contribute towards such causes as procurement of musical instruments and most importantly,felloship buses. It is therefore surprising that some of these buses turn a blind eye when the same set of students need help with transportation,it is not uncommon to see a church bus speed past students waiting for transportation to convey them to various destinations. Particularly affected are residents of such halls as Obafemi Awolowo and Queen Idia,these halls are located far from the academic area of the university of Ibadan and getting transportation to “school area” from these hall is like a camel going through a needle’s eye,most times, the inhabitants of these hall go late to class and sometimes miss classes not because they were not ready in time but because they did not get transportation early,it would therefore be of relief if fellowship buses can render help to such students but the reverse is the case. Awo hall for instance, is very close to an area known as “mount zion”,a religious arena where different fellowships have pitched their tents,it is not a new thing to see a fellowship bus emerge from the arena after having dropped off members of the congregation or musical instrument and zoom pass Awoites with reckless abandon,one is therefore forced to ask,of what cost will it be to transport students to their destinations,saving them from the stress of having to wait under the scorching sun and also save them money,even if the driver(who are oftentimes students) cannot convey everybody,they can enquire about those going towards the same direction the bus is headed and help them. Some of these buses would zoom pass you even if the rain is threatening to beat the hell of you and it is obvious you are headed towards the same direction.
Are these buses only meant to transport UItes to and fro fellowship centres only on sundays,during weekly services and during rural rugged evangelism? Apart from funds by students,some of these buses were donated by alumni and other well meaning individuals and organisations,did these bodies forbid that these buses help needy students? We all complain about the nonchalant attitude of leaders in the country,yet we shy from carrying out social responsibilities, Is it the money to fuel these buses that are keeping their drivers from helping students or the need to maintain the tyres? Did God not promise to provide for our needs according to his riches in glory? We should not shut our eyes towards the predicament of others,Jesus christ in his time was a helper and was merciful,are christians then not supposed to be christ-like and as such render help to those who need it? Even the holy book states that “Be merciful as your father is merciful”, helping students in dire need is therefore only the right thing to do.

RIP TOBI.

MI- If life’s a Painted Potrait,who puts dark colors in them?
The University of Ibadan recently lost Tobi Durowaiye to the Cold hands of Death. Until his Demise,Tobi was a 300L Student of the department of petroleum engineering. I encountered this young man on my way to Jaja three weeks ago,he was also going to the same destination with a friend of his. In my usual I-don’t-care-attitude, I had told my friend whom I was with and who knew them not to introduce us. Three weeks later, Tobi died. I remember him tweeting at me later the same day,asking me why I could not say hi to him. I apologised and he promised to keep in touch,he also asked me if I was feeling better,he probably thought we would properly get acquainted someday. Unfortunately,that day would never come. How was I to know that would be the last time I would see him? I feel bad for not having met him that day. My friend told me he was going to say hi but the haughty look I had on discouraged him. Tobi had been sick. Going through his tweets, I tried to Imagine myself going through the last phase of my life and not knowing it. Due to his health, I saw tweets like “worst december ever”. He retweeted “if you are not dead, then God is not done”. His birthday was December 29th and somebody tweeted at him, asking him if he was enjoying himself and his answer was “unfortunately no”. Who wouldn’t say the same thing being in that situation in a festive period. Life is too short. Be happy, make friends, live everyday like its your last and affect people’s lives positively. RIP Tobi, I would miss you tweeting at me. Most of the tweets I would even not bother to reply but that would not stop you from saying Hi. I wish I could turn back the hands of Time brother. RIP…. Candles Out.

Nightmare…

Noone knows how I feel Right now except me, I feel as if I have been pushed off a Cliff&as I slowly Descend from the altitude,unsure of what lies below,I see Vultures hovering above ready for the kill in Sight.
I close my eyes ready for the worst,the end is near,I can feel it. Anger replaces Frustration, everytime I sweep pass a green sprout from a Mountain,I try to hold on only to lose grip after a while. All of a sudden, a deep abyss,full of vile creatures, creeping all over me,draining me of all energy.I am on solid ground once again,dragging myself along barefooted on the Scalding Sands of an Unknown desert,My feet start to crack,My lips too,blood oozes freely out of my nose forming two straight lines across my lips,my eyes are bloodshot. I see the Vultures closing in rapidly,they are now perched on branches. With the last drop of energy in me I pull myself along,it was near dusk, I cannot go anymore I said to myself as I crash on the sands.The biggest Vulture let out a Shrill.