You do not have anything new to offer anymore. Listen to me you have worn off. You are spent. You are like dead leaves, shed off at autumn. You have seen better times; there is nothing spectacular about your being anymore. Your smile no longer work its magic, the twinkle in your eyes no longer holds spellbound, your jokes are no longer hilarious, there is one better than you in all. All. You thought you were indispensable, your brown skin too shiny, your teeth too nicely set, your hips too wide, you thought you were too awesome, you were doing them a favor but look, your magic wore off, badly too.
You lost your allure, your imperfections scream out like demons across the four corners of your room, the fire has been doused, that once bustling inferno, it no longer burns, in its place, flames that you try in vain to spark once again. Look someone else reigns supreme, you are like a queen, dethroned, sent into exile, you fight, cajole, make scenes, everything to tell your tales of woes. How could you have lost your relevance so cheaply? You mean after you swallowed your pride and tinted your ego? You mean after all the sacrifices you made and time you wasted? You mean after you inconvenienced yourself and lowered your standard? How have your jokes gone stale? After you left your happiness to chase someone else’s? How you surged on when your best bet was to have given up? You know your problem? You did not want to waste time you wasted more time. You put in so much when you got lesser in return you went mad. Then you start barking and fell even lower than you had already. A whole you, you fell from your throne of glamour.
Your heart is heavy with regrets, that is what you get for flogging dead horses, that is what you get for not setting your priorities straight. You had your own goals, your own standards then you ran right off to chase someone else’s, then you cry foul. Listen to me however, that is humans for you, they always have something to complain about, no matter how hard you try if they have no use for you anymore you cannot impress them. You will only continue to chase the wind. Months and months of keeping quiet, being trodden upon, accepting all the blames, trying to put the right right, your efforts, none is remembered, you are the bad horse, you were never right. You smile too widely these days, your hips is too wide, your skin is too brown, your teeth is too nicely set, you see the bad ones happy but for you who have chosen to walk the straight line, happiness is but an illusion. You smile so wide to push the tears back, you have won; now the game is against you. Time is far too spent, you were pushed forward your own evil days, based your happiness on a fellow human, now you hurt. You let words faze you out, cheap words from fast tongues. Did I not teach you to live alone, self-dependent? You had to be reminded to respect yourself, after I raised you to be a respectable young lady. You shame me but you are just a mere reflection of me so all I can do is pull you close and hold you tight. You are not exactly what they say you are, you know how much you have sacrificed, you alone when I was absent, you grew into the strong woman I am proud of, that feeling of self-dependence you guard so jealously they mistake it for pride. You are different; do not try to blend in. Stand out, they knew your flaws, you warned them you were you, they enjoyed you at your best but they flee when you show your worst but again they are only human. Aren’t promises meant to be broken?
You will pick up yourself, brush away the dirt, and hide your hurt and surge forward. Remember in this journey of yours, it will be bumpy, you will be beaten by the rain and the sun, you will be betrayed, people will promise you and fail but you must come out strong and be successful, not for yourself but for your daughter like I was for you. Learn from your mistake but never regret them, celebrate your achievement but never relent effort. You are a strong woman and I am lucky to have birthed you. I love you forever and a day more.